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Monday, December 31, 2012

Christmas

I LOVE Christmas. "I wait for it the whole year 'round, " just like Dean Martin does in the song, "It's A Marshmallow World."  This year was no exception, and I was particularly thrilled when Thanksgiving fell early this year, as I would have more time to enjoy, "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year."

I have friends that are entirely finished with their Christmas shopping by Thanksgiving Day.  This year, I wanted to be that person. How hard could it be?  I'll just crank out my list and be done with it...

It all started off nicely.  Every time I saw something that would possibly make a good "neighbor gift" or " teacher gift", I purchased it.  A few here and a few there.  The gifts I found were very reasonable, some even on sale...so why not buy several?  I felt so accomplished...boy was this going to be  a great Christmas. No last minute hustle and bustle for me. I would be sitting by the fire, maybe watching "It's a Wonderful Life, " eating all the homemade cookies and fudge I would undoubtedly have time to bake...for of course all my shopping would be done. I was making quite a stash in our guest bedroom.
Each day I would make a little shopping excursion, and though it might be brief, I would always add to my little stash.  Boy was I ahead of the game...Thanksgiving wasn't even here yet and I was almost done....except for my kids and husband and other family members. They would be easy...I just needed to get a few for neighbors and friends....then I' ll focus on family.
 Here is where it all seemed to fall apart...I kept finding cute little things here and there, and here and there and here and there and always buying in multiples. Before I knew it, Thanksgiving had come and gone and my list was no where near complete. That was ok though, right? Thanksgiving was early this year.... I had loads of time.  Since I was going to have extra time this year, I was going to need lots of recipes to make all the Christmas goodies I planned to make. Pinterest is good for that...so after, or sometimes before my daily shopping exercise, I would log on to Pinterest and explore all my options for the Christmas feasts and  delectable goodies I would prepare. I printed out recipe after recipe.  I am a regular "Martha Stewart "  I thought.  Seriously, people are going to walk in my house (I was planning on having lots of Christmas parties and open houses and cookie exchanges...remember all the extra time I had?) and they are going to think, "How does she do it? The girl is amazing...and can you believe all of her shopping is done? " Yep...it was pretty awesome, pretty terrific... pretty much all in my head. This is where it all gets foggy...the days started to snowball, and not in a good  Christmas snowball kind of way.  I mean the kind of snowball that smacks you in the face when you least expect it and it hurts you because it is not entirely made of snow but made mostly of hard ice. That's the kind of snow balling I mean. All of a sudden it was the middle of December and there were office Christmas parties and school Christmas parties  and  every other kind of organization Christmas parties and before I   knew it I had so much left to do and only a mess of stash in the guest bedroom.  How could all of this  have gone so terribly, terribly wrong...what about my baking and movie watching and the roaring fire and all the parties I was gonna have? What about my "Martha Stewartness?" 

Well, in the end, all the shopping got done...but I was most definitely in the hustle and bustle...in fact, I was the hustle and bustle. I even managed to do a little baking...but  I never got around to watching "It's a Wonderful Life." For the first time in forever, my Christmas Cards did not go out....(we will celebrate Groundhog's day) and I felt more Christmas frantic for a longer time...it was simply not worth it.

What is the point of all of this you say? I have no idea.

It seems to me, that the harder I tried to enjoy Christmas, the more elusive it became....I felt like I was running a race that was not mine to win. 

I always vow each Christmas, that NEXT Christmas will be much more simple, not so frenzied, not so hectic, but I know it will be, thats just me.

I feel so calm on Christmas morning...everything that needs to be done is done and there is a sense of peace...and then I feel it.... it is the Christmas Spirit...  The Spirit fills me with the knowledge that this is what Christmas is all about...the sense of calm, the peace, the miracle of the tiny baby born in a manger, with gifts of only gold, frankincense and myrrh. The Christmas Spirit fills me with the knowledge that to enjoy Christmas one must not try, but simply be still and receive the gift of Christmas...and if one truly receives the gift, that is the Christmas gift they must share with others. That gift is mine to give all year long if I choose to do so. I hope I do....and in that moment...I enjoy Christmas...all the hustle and bustle and plans were for not...for it was with me all along. I hope I remember this next year...and hopefully way before Thanksgiving.  I am putting it on my Resolution List for the New Year....afterall, whether or not I got to watch it....It 's A Wonderful Life.



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